Yay Projectile Vomit!

We woke up at 2:45am this morning to Benjamin sobbing. He was soaked in his own vomit! Since then we’ve had two more lovely projectile vomit episodes. I guess I didn’t knock hard enough on wood last week when I wrote about the bugs from daycare he was picking up.

Ben’s second barf-session happened right before John left for work this morning.

“John come here NOW!” I yelled just before he walked out the door. Now picture me holding Ben in an awkward position between my elbows as he continues to spew vomit. My right hand is cupped as a ladle holding a portion of the contents of Ben’s stomach precariously over the couch. The other hand holds a gastric-juice covered Brown Bear (his favorite book), trying to find a place to set it down so my other vomit-ladle hand can take its turn.

Now you can fool me once, son. But don’t even think for a second, Mr. Benjamin, that you can fool me twice. (Or something like that? Have I ever mentioned my horrible inability to remember common idioms? I’m almost as bad as this guy).

Anyway, after the morning puke debacle, I went about setting up eight Tupperware containers in strategic locations. I knew the next episode would happen soon after his next feeding. An hour after he ate, I could send him getting agitated and wanting to cuddle even closer, and he had a wicked case of hiccups so I knew it was coming soon. Watch out amateurs, this Momma was ready!

But the thing about projectile vomiting (I have since learned) is that you can never, ever beat it. We were in the rocking chair just waiting, I was watching him like a hawk, and I had my hand ON the damn Tupperware, I kid you not. But I still managed to miss the first puke-missile. And was so thrown off by my utter failure and the sheer quantity of liquid that could come out of a baby’s mouth, that I missed the second and third as well. Please note in the picture that I did catch some vomit in the plastic receptacle at the very end.

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Glass half full:  We are lucky to have Toby around to help clean up when Daddy is away. (Gag!)

Glass half empty: I discovered the glider cushion cover is NOT removable/washable.  I guess I might be forced into that DIY project after all.

The poor little peanut is not fussy at all, as if it would be too much work to cry. Just wants nothing but cuddles.

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He is currently on his second very long nap (I guess he needs the sleep). It’s hard to see him so beat down, so I am posting these pictures from last week when he was nice and healthy to remind me that he’ll be just fine. The shirt is covered in drool, not vomit, FYI.

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I had to make this next one BIG, because you can see Ben’s two new bottom teeth, finally!

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With those brand new itty bitty pearly whites, and all this puking going on around here, we might bust out the baby toothbrush! We have this one, but I’m pretty sure that in his mind it will quickly become just another toy to chew on.

Ok, back to the 87th load of pukey, poopy laundry.   You know your kid is sick when the insanely loud washing machine buzzer (conveniently located in your infant’s bedroom), doesn’t wake him from a nap. Prior to now, it has never failed to scare the bejesus out of him. It even makes my ears bleed a little. Hmmm, I better go make sure he’s alive in there.

 

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